My Little Pony: Save the College
by Ghostkaiba297
Summary: The ponies must stop Chester Hoeincker and other villains from their nefarious schemes. A crossover of My Little Pony, Flubber, The Avengers, X-Men, 24, Prison Break, Men in Black, Up Up and Away, Supernatural, James Bond, Die Hard, and Digimon Tamers, with a bit of Dead Space sprinkled in.
1. The Frogs

**My Little Pony: Save the College**

Me and my friend Sir Tonikoos (the one who got me into My Little Pony) wrote a story together, initially a My Little Pony and Flubber crossover. I've modified it for here, making a few changes, and omitting a few OC's that the story revolves around a bit making it seem slightly less fanfic-like.

Rated T for violence, cannibalism, and mild language. (Although some of the violence is toned down from the original) There is reference to Cupcakes, but not as gory (and not done to a pony).

Disclaimer: Well, you know the usual, at end of each chapter I'll name who's from what and who's an OC. Those I don't name are MLP in case anypony reading this fic hasn't seen enough of it to know them.

Warning: May contain spoilers for 24 and Prison Break.

**Chapter 1: The Frogs**

Edgar, a farmer, was complaining at his wife all night long, disappointed that he didn't get steak for dinner, but rather something he called "poison".

"The only thing that pulls its weight around here is my damn truck!" said Edgar. Just then, a UFO hit his truck. Nothing else was damaged; not even the cow, who walked out of the way in time to avoid it. Edgar walked toward the crater with his shotgun.

His wife, Beatrice, walked out. "What the heck is it, Edgar?" she said.

Edgar turned around. "Get your big butt back in the house!"

Beatrice walked back inside. Edgar walked over to the UFO. It opened up, but instead of an alien, out came a man with curly dark blonde hair, a woman with dark hair, and a black unicorn pony with a dark gray mane and tail and yellow eyes.

"Get the hell out of my farm!" said Edgar, raising his shotgun.

"I was expecting more of a panic," said the woman.

"Nina! Shut up!" said the man. "UFO sightings are more a sign of discovery. We need a UFO with lasers!"

"You'll pay for my truck!" said Edgar.

"I guess I'll have to kill you," said Nina.

"No!" said the yellow-eyed pony. "I sense this farmer is not a pleasant man. Maybe he could help us."

"Help you do what?" said Edgar.

"I am Azazel, but my friends call me Yellow Eyes," said the pony. "I was originally invulnerable, but a female dragon furry turned me into a pony which took away my invulnerability but not my fire magic." A fiery aura appeared around his horn. "This is Nina Myers, and the man who tells her to shut up is Malcolm Quinn, the president of Earth Protectors who once tried to brainwash kids. We are out to unbalance the world. We hijacked this UFO from a bug, but we want UFOs with lasers now so we can cause a panic and take advantage to unbalance the world."

"He's offering me lots of money," said Nina. "He could get you some too."

"Nina! Shut up!" said Malcolm.  
"I'll only do it for one thing!" said Edgar.

"What would that be?" said Azazel.

"Steak."

"You've got a deal!"

* * *

Fluttershy was feeding some of her animals when suddenly three frogs walked up to her. They were not like any frogs she had ever seen. One of them looked like he had been inside a pickle container for a week. One had worms crawling through him, including two fat worms coming out of his eyes. One looked rotten, with teeth.

"I am Sour Frog!" said the first frog.

"I am Wormy Frog!" said the second.

"I'm Rotten Frog!" said the third.

"Can I help you?" said Fluttershy, a little weirded out by these frogs.

"Help us?" said Sour Frog. "After what you did to us?"

"I didn't do anything to you," said Fluttershy.

"You took us to Froggybottom Bog!" said Sour Frog. "The home of that Hydra!"

Fluttershy winced, remembering the terrible creature that had not only eaten nearly every frog she took to Froggybottom Bog, but also tried to murder Fluttershy and her friends.

"After you escaped him," said Rotten Frog, "he massacred us all! We were the only three left! So do you know what we did?"

"No," said Fluttershy, afraid to hear the answer.

"We sold our souls to the devil!" said Sour Frog.

"So he turned us sour, wormy, and rotten so the Hydra wouldn't want to eat us!" said Rotten Frog.

"You wanna know the most screwed up thing about it all?" said Sour Frog.

"They shot the stray dog we adopted," said Wormy Frog.

"Yes, they shot the stray dog we... IDIOT!" said Sour Frog, smacking Wormy Frog across the face. "Not a minute after we sold our souls and the devil teleported away, Princess Celestia came in and banished the Hydra to the moon!"

"We sold our souls for nothing!" said Wormy Frog.

"In ten years we're going to Tartarus!" said Rotten Frog.

"I am so, so sorry," said Fluttershy. "I didn't know there was a Hydra there."

"Well there was!" said Sour Frog. "And we're here for revenge!"  
"You're going to burn in Tartarus with us," said Wormy Frog, "ten years before we join you!"

"Can I bite her neck?" said Rotten Frog.

"I'll kill her with my acid tongue!" said Sour Frog. "You can eat her afterwards."

Fluttershy gave the three frogs The Stare! The frogs backed away and then hopped into the distance.

* * *

Dick Dick was a cowardly man. Well, he wasn't exactly a man. He was a humanoid Charizard. He had dark hair and a wimpy expression on his face. He was paranoid about his tail flame going out, and had an extreme hydrophobia. So he decided to destroy all water.

**AN**: When you first saw the name "Dick Dick" you probably thought of the character from 10,000 BC. Well, this is not the same Dick Dick, he was just named after him. He is quite the polar opposite of him; Dick Dick in 10,000 BC is an honorable warrior and major protagonist)

Daniel Hale and Paul Kellerman walked up to Dick Dick.

"Today's the day!" said Dick Dick. "The day I destroy all water! You two are going to help me! I give you the power to turn into humanoid Charizard at will! If you want to turn human again, or vice versa, just say "Ingliy spiking world!"

Dick Dick raised his arms, and Hale and Kellerman turned into humanoid Charizard. They flew above a small pond. Dick Dick threw a flame into the pond and it evaporated.

* * *

"Malcolm, Edgar, Azazel, and Nina!" said Princess Celestia. "You four stand accused of trying to unbalance the world."

"Shut your friggen piehole you little..." began Azazel.

"I know how you intended to end that sentence, Azazel!" said Celestia. "All four of you must pay the penalty."

One by one, Celestia kicked Malcolm, Edgar, Nina, and Azazel, sending them flying to the moon.

* * *

Nina Myers is from 24, Malcolm is from Up, Up, and Away, Edgar is from Men in Black, Azazel is from Supernatural, and Hale and Kellerman are from Prison Break. Sour Frog, Wormy Frog, and Rotten Frog are OC's, but are named after Applegate Skinner from The Trumpet of the Swan.


	2. Hoeincker Threatens to Close College

**My Little Pony: Save the College**

**Chapter 2: Hoeincker Threatens to Close College**

"Dad? Dad!"

In a tall towerlike fortress rising above a cliff in the jungle, Bennett Hoeincker stormed into his father's office, flanked by Smith and Wesson, two bodyguards.

Chester Hoeincker sat at his desk reading the newspaper. It had a picture of Bennett's face on it and said "College Flunks Math."

"I got thrown off the basketball team!" said Bennett. "I flunked chemistry!"

"How did this happen?" said Chester.

"We talked to the professor and told him to give Bennett an A," said Wesson.

"Obviously he didn't understand us," said Smith.

"I will not stand for this," said Chester. "This is what I want you to do."

* * *

On the moon, Malcolm, Edgar, Azazel, and Nina were eating moonrocks.

"There has to be more to eat than moonrocks!" said Azazel.

"I want off the moon!" said Nina.

"Nina! Shut up!" said Malcolm.

Parasprites flew by and bombarded them with rocks.

"They're throwing moonrocks at us!" said Edgar.

"Those aren't moonrocks," said Azazel.

They were pieces of Discord, a Spirit of Disharmony who had been turned to stone, sent to the moon by Celestia, and smashed by the Hydra and Parasprites. (AN: I know this can't have happened in the show because he returns in Keep Calm and Flutter On)

"RUN!" said Malcolm.

They ran and hid under a big moonrock. The Parasprites looked around, couldn't find the four, and flew away. The four climbed out from under the rock.

"I'm glad that's over with," said Nina.

"Nina, shut up!" said Malcolm.

Then the Hydra appeared. It roared at them with its four heads and chased after them.

"I'D TAKE MY CHANCES WITH THE PARASPRITES!" Edgar said.

* * *

Princess Luna read the newspaper. The front page had a picture of Chester Hoeincker on the front and said "_Hoeincker Threatens to Close College._"

"Oh no!" said Luna. "Close College is the best college around! If it goes... Just what kind of threat is this?"

She read the article about Chester's threat. It was a bomb threat.

"Can't he at least try to change the F to an A?" said Luna. "I've got to stop this!"

Luna flew to Hoeincker Tower. Smith and Wesson escorted the alicorn to Chester's office.

"This had better be important," said Chester. "I'm in the middle of something."

"I read about your bomb threat!" said Luna. "That's a little disproportionate for them flunking your son when he thought he could get an A by doing nothing just because of what your bodyguards said!"

"They need to learn what happens when you mess with us," said Chester. "I expected them to give Bennett straight A's in everything."

"Look," said Luna. "I can put him back on the basketball team."

"That wouldn't change his grade."

"Just this once I can change the F to an A, and I could even appear in his dreams and inspire him to do better."

"I want revenge. It's as simple as that. Nothing you say can get me to call off my threat."

"After you made your threat public, the college will probably be evacuated so there's no need to destroy it if your bomb can't kill them!"

"We both know that even if they don't die in the blast, without Close College everything will collapse along with people's best hopes for the future."

"You're sick!" said Luna. "I could kill you right here!"

Smith and Wesson each drew a Smith & Wesson gun and aimed them at Luna. Luna knew she could not take on three opponents at once when two of them were armed.

"I'm going to find your bomb and diffuse it," said Luna. She spread her wings and flew away.

"If I thought they could find the bomb before it detonates, I wouldn't have announced it," said Chester. "Still... Luna knows many of the college's secrets. Smith, Wesson, make sure she doesn't find the bomb."

* * *

Dick Dick, Hale, and Kellerman were hovering in the air. In the distance, in the direction they were facing, Cloudsdale could be seen.

"Cloudsdale is inhabited by pegasus," said Dick Dick. "They have rainclouds there! If you two destroy Cloudsdale, they could be prevented from making it rain, and we can figure out a way to kill all pegasi! I'll destroy more lakes and rivers while you two go and take out Cloudsdale!"

"Yes sir!" said Hale and Kellerman, and they flew over to Cloudsdale. There were pegasi everywhere.

"It's time for a Firespin!" said Kellerman.

"We could wipe out some pegasi," said Hale.

"The more we kill the better!" said Kellerman.

Hale and Kellerman breathed fire, forming tornadoes of fire that they sent directly at the weather factory in Cloudsdale. The factory was decimated, and Cloud Kicker was caught in the path and burned to death. A huge chunk of Cloudsdale was destroyed.

"What's going on?" said Derpy Hooves. For no apparent reason she was carrying a bag of Flubberized sports balls, like baseballs, golf balls, basketballs, bowling balls, footballs, and soccer balls.

Kellerman shot Derpy in the head, and as she fell, all the balls fell out and bounced high into the air.

"Not Derpy Hooves!" came several voices.

"What?" said Kellerman. "She was too much fanservice!"

"And she made fun of disabled people," said Hale.

"There's no such thing as too much fanservice!" said Hoofroy Jenkins. "And was she any worse than Snails? She's the top favorite background pony!"

"I could care less about your show," said Kellerman.

"Maybe if you tried an episode for yourself you wouldn't be so mean!" said Helia, a cyan pegasus with a blonde mane and tail.

"I'll watch it when hell freezes over!" said Kellerman, and he and Hale flew away.

* * *

Pinkie Pie was standing at the doors of Close College. Her tail suddenly started switching. Pinkie put on an umbrella hat.

Luna fell from the sky and landed in front of Pinkie.

"Hi Luna!" said Pinkie.

"How are you today, Pinkie Pie?" said Luna.

"Awesome!" said Pinkie.

"I could use your help with something," said Luna. "Chester Hoeincker planted a bomb in Close College and your Pinkie Sense could help me find it."

"Okey dokey Loki!" said Pinkie.

Smith and Wesson watched from the bushes.

"That pink pony could be a problem if she can predict the future," said Wesson.

"Should I eliminate her?" said Smith.

Pinkie's tail twitched.

"I wonder what's going to fall this time?" said Luna.

The golf ball fell and hit Smith on the head. Smith fell to the ground. Then a bowling ball fell, hitting Wesson on the head.

"That could kill somepony!" said Luna. "How does he survive?"

"He's got a really thick skull!" said Pinkie.

"Well, let's find this bomb!" said Luna. She and Pinkie entered Close College.

* * *

Chester Hoeincker and his gang, of course, are the villains from Flubber. Except their base here is based off Final Egg from Sonic Adventure.

And yes I know the Flubber newspaper said "Close" as in "Close the door" or "close down" I was just twisting it to mean something else.


	3. Monk Soup

**My Little Pony: Save the College**

**Chapter 3: Monk Soup**

AN: This chapter mostly revolves around some OC villains, but this is important to the plot (or will be) and their paths do cross with other characters, mostly ponies. And part of it is to express my distaste at G3 (which is probably shared by most bronies), but it is not a stab at anypony who does happen to like G3, so if there's anypony who does, please don't be offended by my portrayal of it.

* * *

Luke Saknussman was a fat and somewhat bulky man with blonde hair. He loved to kill monks and make them into soup. However, monks were getting scarce, and those who remained were fortifying their cathedrals to become Luke Saknussman-proof. Killing monks was getting harder and harder. Luke called his four minions into the room.

Warhead had curly dark blonde hair and had rounds of silver ammunition around his shoulders. They had to be silver to keep him from transforming in moonlight because he was a werewolf.

Tagge was shorter but bulkier, though not as much as Luke. He had greasy brown hair. (AN: I slightly based his appearance off Commander Taggi from Star Wars)

Cebres, the only girl in the team, had long dark purple hair.

Augustus was a tall, muscular man with dark hair, a leather jacket with chains, and a dark green shirt underneath with a skull on it. There was a key behind the eye of the skull.

"I want you four to find a way to kill some monks and bring them to me," said Luke. "Whoever brings me a monk first gets the soup with the other eye in it."

The four minions nodded and walked out the door, walking their separate ways.

* * *

Warhead drove an armored tank in search of cathedrals. He could just blast it to pieces and kill the monk.

Warhead saw a few people over on an intersecting path. He was easily sidetracked by his favorite pastime: Running humans over with a tank! Warhead turned and drove his tank toward the unsuspecting people.

Suddenly a rainbow blur ran by him. Warhead looked around and saw a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane and tail flying beside him.

"Why don't you try to run me over instead?" said Rainbow Dash.

"You know what?" said Warhead. "Maybe I will!"

"Then catch me!" Rainbow touched down on the ground and walked. It was difficult not to run as fast as she could, but she knew that if Warhead lost her, or felt he couldn't catch her, he'd turn his attention back to the defenseless people.

Warhead chased after Rainbow, who kept ahead just enough so he didn't run her over, but made sure he couldn't lose her.

Once they were in an open area away from any civilians, Rainbow flew into the air at incredible speed. Warhead paused and scratched his head. "Where did she go?"

Warhead looked up just as Rainbow smashed down into him. His tank exploded in a rainbow mushroom cloud. When the smoke cleared, all that remained was Rainbow Dash and some charred tank fragments.

* * *

There were two defining characteristics about Tagge. He was a moron and he loved eating a tasteless substance called "suck", which looked similar to saliva. Tagge loved eating suck. He didn't get sent on many solo missions, so he took advantage of this first opportunity and walked to the Suck Factory to rob it.

(AN: This "suck" substance is purely made up by me and Tonikoos, it originated as a random phrase that didn't mean anything)

Tagge walked to the Suck Factory, but when he barged in, it was to see a giant monster, Emperor Bulbax, eating all the vats of suck.

"NO FAIR!" said Tagge. "THAT'S MINE!"

Suddenly, Lord Bullbo crashed through the walls, with King Bulbin on his back. Bulbin threw a powerful axelike device. It hit Bulbax between the eyes just as he finished draining the last vat of suck. Bulbax roared and collapsed to the ground dead.

Tagge didn't have any beef with Bulbin. There was no more suck here to eat, and the perpetrator behind that was dead. Tagge decided that if he couldn't rob the factory, he'd have somepony create some for him. And he knew exactly who.

"What?!" said Twilight Sparkle. "Why do you want to eat suck?"

"It's my favorite food!" said Tagge.

"Well, I suppose..." began Twilight, but Tagge interrupted.

"How about you cut off your tail and turn it into suck?"

"Why would I cut my tail off?" said Twilight. "Why would you make such a suggestion!"

"Rarity cut off her tail to fix that gay dragon's mustache."

"That was good reason. This isn't! I was going to turn a rock into a can of suck, but no more!"

Tagge pulled out a machine gun and aimed it at the unicorn's head. "Do it now or I'll shoot, I swear to Celestia!"

Twilight zapped Tagge with a magic spell. Tagge inflated like a balloon and collapsed into magic that went flying through the air and into the mirror pond, deep in a cave.

(AN: I know they blocked out the mirror pond, but in this universe the magic can still get in, just not out)

* * *

Although she was 21, Cebres's favorite thing in the world was the third generation of My Little Pony. Like Tagge, whom she did not get along with as he, like the others, _hated_ G3, Cebres was waiting for a solo mission so she could slack off and find some G3 ponies. And she knew exactly where they were.

When the G3 ponies ruined the My Little Pony name and gave it a reputation for little girls, Princess Celestia had banished the G3 ponies to the Mysterious Beyond, a desolate wasteland full of Sharpteeth, carnivorous dinosaurs like tyrannosaurus rexes and velociraptors.

Cebres was a fast runner. She dashed like Rainbow toward a hill, beyond which was the Mysterious Beyond. The point where she crossed had gray clouds. Cebres searched for G3 ponies. She knew they would be in the darkest, foulest area of the Mysterious Beyond.

She tripped over a skeleton and fell into a pool of water – or sinking sand! She began to sink, waving her arms around wildly. "Help! I'm sinking!"

A yellow humanoid fox walked up to her. "Grab onto my tail!" said Renamon, holding her tail into the tar pit. Cebres grabbed Renamon's tail and she pulled her up to the ground.

"I should say thanks," said Cebres, and she pushed Renamon into the sinking sand and ran away, saying "G3 ponies here I come!"

A blue sharptooth saw Renamon and held out his own tail before her. "Grab on!" said Allomon.

Not sure why a sharptooth was helping her, Renamon grabbed Allomon's tail, and he pulled her out of the pit.

"Now it's time to eat you!" said Allomon. "Easy prey!"

She should have known! He only wanted to eat her. Renamon could destroy him, but she had another idea. "If you don't eat me, I can lead you to another girl who probably won't be able to destroy you, and some ponies!"

"Hop on my back and direct me there," said Allomon. "If you're lying, you're dinner!"

* * *

Augustus was not only a gang member, but also a gangster. He ran his own mob with the most notorious gangsters in the city. There was Vodka, a short goofy gangster with sunglasses and a mustache. There were brothers Cesar and Antony Mario. And there were three men named Fred Futch, Frank Dog, and Victor Swan. Fred had slick dark hair. Frank had wavy, dark, almost longer hair. Victor had dark curly hair.

Augustus was also the only one of Luke Saknussman's minions who took his job seriously. He and his mob watched a cathedral from the shadows.

"What's our plan of attack?" said Augustus.

"Go to the bomb store, steal some bombs, blow up the door, kill the monk, and bring him to Luke Saknussman," said Cesar.

"Directions even your brother could understand," said Augustus.

"Yeah," said Antony. "Directions even I could understand!"

"Shut up," said Cesar.

The mob went to a bomb store. A gunshot could be heard, and the gang walked outside with several bombs in their hands.

"I'll handle this," said Cesar. "Bombs are my specialty. I killed an auctioneer last week." He walked over to the steel doors of the cathedral and planted the bombs on them. Then a rope came down beside him and a monk slid down the rope.

"Hey!" said Brother Andrew. "No blowing up cathedral doors!" He beat Cesar to death with a mace.

"CESAR!" said Antony. "ARE YOU OK?!"

"I suggest we run!" said Augustus. And they did.

(AN: The mace scene was based off Eternal Darkness, and the monk is the same name as the one who was killed at the beginning of Chapter 7)

* * *

Cebres was getting tired, but her desire to see G3 ponies motivated her to walk forward. The clouds were getting darker, and the sinking sand pits and other hazards more frequent. She climbed over another mountain and saw them. An entire civilization of G3 ponies.

Cebres did a fangirl squeal and ran over to them. "I have to say I am your biggest fan!" said Cebres. "My name's Cebres! Who's the leader of this anti-cute un-Equestrian tribe?"

"I am," said a blue G3 unicorn pony with a pink mane and tail and a stick for a cutie mark. "Call me Stickhead!"

"It is an honor to meet you in person, Stickhead!" said Cebres. "Oh! I have a plan to become one of you! I'll be right back!" Re-energized by the discovery of the G3 ponies, Cebres dashed off toward Equestria.

No sooner had she left, than Renamon and Allomon came in.

"G3 ponies!" said Allomon. "I eat them up!"

Suddenly a winged figure came in. A demon, three times the size of a human. His skin was a grayish brown and he had two horns on his head. He had glowing red eyes, long blonde hair, extremely sharp claws, spikes on his shoulder, two batlike wings, and a red cape that was jagged at the bottom.

"Oh, it's Demon Ulyaoth," said Stickhead uninterestedly.

(AN: I know what most of you are thinking, Ulyaoth is the giant jellyfish from Eternal Darkness. Well, like Dick Dick, same name, different guy. Except his name is pronounced differently. Eternal Darkness Ulyaoth is like "Oo-lee-owth". This Ulyaoth is "Yu-ly-ay-oth". His appearance is a cross between VenomMyotismon and Sthertoth)

"It's meal time!" said Ulyaoth, and he ate a G3 pony.

"THOSE ARE MINE!" said Allomon. He violently bucked Renamon off him, knocking her out cold, and breathed fire at Ulyaoth. Ulyaoth countered by breathing fire of his own, a greenish blue flame which overpowered Allomon and destroyed him completely. Taking no notice of Renamon, Ulyaoth absorbed his data and flew away.

* * *

"How are we gonna get to the monk now?" said Vodka.

"We need a professional assassin," said Fred.

"I'm on it," said Augustus. He dialled a number. "Hello? I've got a job for you."

* * *

Cebres appeared before Princess Celestia.

"Turn me into a G3 pony!" she said.

"WHAT?!" said Celestia, shocked.

"I want to be a G3 pony!"

"There's no call for those horrible creatures in Equestria!" said Celestia. "You know they're the reason anti-bronies exist and judge our show to be the same as G3."

Cebres barely resisted the urge to insult G4. She knew Celestia would banish her to the moon. She hated G4 with a passion. It just wasn't the childish, dull, unappealing little girl show she was used to. It even killed a few antagonists like G1 once did, and one such scene was particularly spectacular. She _hated_ spectacular.

"I know where the G3 ponies are," said Cebres, "and if you don't turn me into one of them I swear to Stickhead that I'll lead her and her entire tribe in!"

"Don't you dare!" said Celestia. If she wasn't angry before, she certainly was now. "Not only would it set a bad example and ruin our lives, but it would also attract Demon Ulyaoth! He's a vicious demon who eats humans, furries, and G4 ponies, but as long as the G3 ponies are in the Mysterious Beyond, near the spot where he has his castle set up, he'll eat them instead of us. Their presence there is the only thing keeping him from returning here!"

"If you turn me into a G3 pony, I won't have to."

"I should banish you to the moon instead."

"I wouldn't do that if I were you!" said Cebres. "I told Stickhead that if she didn't hear from me in three hours, that she should march into Canterlot without me!"

"Fine," said Celestia. "I have your word you will keep those... _things_ away?"

"I swear on Stickhead's life," said Cebres. "Oh, and can you make me a pegasus?"

With an expression on her face as though it killed her to do it, Celestia raised her horn and transformed Cebres into a white G3 pony with a dark purple mane and tail. Her cutie mark was G3 Pinkie Pie.

"YES!" said Cebres. She flew off toward the Mysterious Beyond.

* * *

"All right," said Augustus. "Here's the plan. Antony, you get your shot at avenging your brother's death. Here's a lead pipe. Beat the monk to death with it."

"Yeah!" said Antony as he took the lead pipe from Augustus. "I can't wait to kill him!"

Antony walked over to the cathedral door and banged his lead pipe against it. "OPEN UP!"

Brother Andrew slid down his rope. "I'd have thought you'd learn from what happened to your brother. It's so sad." He beat Antony to death with a mace. Then, there was a gunshot, and Andrew fell dead with a bullet hole in his head.

Mandy, the professional assassin, stood next to Augustus with a sniper rifle. A big man with sharp metal teeth stood next to her.

"Bulls eye," said Augustus.

"I can't wait to see Jaws break down the door of our next target," said Frank.

"And bite the monk in the neck," said Victor.

"Fred, Frank, Victor, return to our gangster base and think of a plan to assassinate our next monk. Mandy, Vodka, Jaws, let's haul our monk to Luke Saknussman! He'll give you your reward, Mandy!"

* * *

Cebres flew in to the Mysterious Beyond. "Hey, Stickhead! Guess what?"

"Cebres?" said Stickhead. "Is that you? You're..."

"One of you!" said Cebres. "How do you like my cutie mark? Aren't I the most anti-cute G3 pony to ever exist?"

"I think I'm still more anti-cute," said Stickhead proudly. "That's why I'm the leader here!"

"Want to invade Equestria and RUIN G4 once and for all?" said Cebres. She didn't even bat an eye at breaking her word to Celestia. On the contrary, screwing over the princess of the G4 ponies was the most exciting thing she'd ever done. To hell with Luke Saknussman! This is what she wanted to do!

"Celestia will only banish us again," said Stickhead.

"She'll have no power once we restore indignity to the My Little Pony name!" said Cebres.

"Good point," said Stickhead.

The G3 ponies marched into Canterlot, Cebres and Stickhead at the front. The royal guards kneeled before Celestia and told her the horrible news. Celestia gasped, shocked and offended beyond belief, and looked out the window to see the G3 ponies invading. She recognized the pegasus she transformed with her own horn.

"That troll!" said Celestia.

Then, Ulyaoth came flying in. G4 ponies screamed and ran. G3 ponies were disinterested.

"I haven't eaten a G4 pony in 50 long!" said Ulyaoth. He picked up Lyra and BonBon by their tails and raised them to his mouth. His tongue was bluish green.

Then Rainbow Dash kicked Ulyaoth in the ribs, and he dropped the two mares, who looked into each others' eyes and kissed. Thanks to Kellerman, Derpy wasn't there to come between them.

"I'm in the mood for some wings," said Ulyaoth, and he slashed Rainbow's back with his claws. Her wings were cut off.

"Rainbow Dash's wings have had enough!" said Celestia, watching from her window.

Rainbow immediately headed to the Everfree Forest. Her wings had been cut off on many occasions and Zecora knew a potion that could make pegasus wings grow back.

Ulyaoth munched on Rainbow's wings and then turned towards Cebres. "Thank you for leading me back in here and breaking my agreement with the princess! I forgot how much I enjoy this! But that doesn't mean I don't like the taste of them!" Ulyaoth ate a G3 pony.

"BLASPHEMY!" said Cebres.

Ulyaoth grabbed Cebres by the tail. She screamed in fear as Ulyaoth gobbled her up.

Then, Ulyaoth received a kick in the back of the neck. He realized it wasn't a hoof, but more like a paw, although it still hurt. He turned around to see Renamon.

"You will terrorize the ponies no more!" said Renamon.

"Will I?" said Ulyaoth. He raised his claws and shot a purple energy wave at Renamon. Renamon blocked with her arms, but it was still powerful enough to damage her, although her block stopped the worst of it.

"Diamond Storm!" Renamon shot shards of diamond at Ulyaoth. They pierced him and exploded. Ulyaoth winced in pain, and then breathed greenish blue fire at Renamon, scorching her. She lay on the ground, weakened.

"Have you had enough yet, or are you ready to be eaten?" said Ulyaoth.

"Never!" said Renamon, getting to her feet.

Then, there was a sonic boom, a rainbow shockwave, and a rainbow heading straight for the area. Renamon came into direct contact with the Sonic Rainboom just as Rainbow Dash skidded to a halt a few meters in front of her.

"Renamon digivolve to... Kyubimon!"

Kyubimon was on four legs with nine tails, each with a blue flame on the tip.

"More floofy tails to eat!" said Ulyaoth, licking his lips.

"Fox Tail Inferno!" Fireballs appeared on the tips of Kyubimon's tails, which then appeared around Ulyaoth and set him on fire. Ulyaoth howled in pain as his wings were burned and his cape was disintegrated.

"Dragon Wheel!" Kyubimon began spinning into a ball of blue fire, from which a fiery dragon appeared and engulfed Ulyaoth. Ulyaoth screamed as he was reduced to a pile of ash.

"Well done Renamon, Rainbow Dash," said Celestia as she descended into the area. "And now, G3 ponies, I hereby banish you all back to the Mysterious Beyond!"

Her horn glowed with a bright light, and all the G3 ponies were sent flying into the distance.

* * *

As Luke Saknussman paced impatiently back and forth, Augustus dragged in the dead body of Brother Andrew, with Vodka, Jaws, and Mandy at his side.

"Well done Augustus," said Luke. "I knew I could always count on you."

"Now, where's my million dollars?" said Mandy.

"Did you hire a professional assassin and tell her I had that kind of money laying around?" said Luke.

"I'm not going to work for somepony who doesn't pay up," said Mandy. She drew a gun and shot Augustus and Luke. Jaws bit Vodka in the neck and he dropped dead.

* * *

In addition to the author's notes in the story, King Bulbin and Lord Bullbo are from Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, Emperor Bulbax is from Pikmin, and the Mysterious Beyond is a location from The Land Before Time. Vodka is the goofy gangster from Dragonball Z, Cesar and Antony Mario are mafia guys from Hudson Hawk, Jaws is the infamous minion from James Bond and Mandy is the fan favorite villain from 24. Of course Renamon and Allomon are from Digimon Tamers. Luke Saknussman and his gang, along with Fred, Frank, and Victor, are OC's.

Also, our original story had Pinkie Pie making both Cebres and Ulyaoth into cupcakes, and Tagge joining the heroes


	4. Revenge and Remorse

**My Little Pony: Save the College**

**Chapter 4: Revenge and Remorse**

"Dad, why are you blowing up the college?" said Bennett. "I want those bastards dead as much as you, but without the college I can't play basketball!"

"I'll build a giant basketball court in its place," said Chester. "I'll hire a basketball team of your very own and you'll beat every last opponent who comes your way."

"I like the sound of that," said Bennett.

"I just hope Smith and Wesson stop those ponies before they find the bomb," said Chester.

* * *

At Close College, Luna and Pinkie Pie were still searching for the bomb.

"Are we ever gonna find this bomb?" said Pinkie Pie.

"I don't think it would be out in the open," said Luna. "I remember the professor telling me there was a secret passage somewhere, but he's forgotten where it is."

They searched for a while, until they were backstage, in a dark area with blue lights.

"Eye flutter and itchy nose!" said Pinkie Pie. "That combo means there's a secret passage nearby!"

Luna examined the wall Pinkie was standing next to, and opened it with her magic. There was a secret passage spiral staircase leading to the lower level.

"I bet the bomb's down there," said Luna. Pinkie and Luna descended the staircase.

Smith and Wesson walked after them, but the golf ball and bowling ball hit them in the head.

* * *

Fred, Frank, and Victor watched the report that the bodies of Luke Saknussman, Augustus, and Vodka had been discovered, and monks no longer had to be weary of Luke.

"There goes our mob," said Frank.

"Why don't we form our own mob?" said Fred.

"Just the three of us?" said Victor.

"We'd like to join your team!" came a voice. The three gangsters turned around to see Sour Frog, Wormy Frog, and Rotten Frog.

"What are you?" said Fred, disgusted by the appearance of these frogs.

The frogs each said their name.

"We want revenge on a pegasus by the name of Fluttershy!" said Sour Frog. "She's the reason we look like this!"

"We're coldblooded killers!" said Wormy Frog. "We'll gank anypony you've got a beef with!"

"Anypony who wants to join our mob has to take a special test," said Fred. "Cross the busy highway!"

They faced a highway with cars everywhere. The three frogs trembled with fear. They were familiar with this game.

"You first, worm!" said Fred as he shoved Wormy Frog ahead, rubber gloves on his hands. Wormy Frog gulped, and then tried to hop across the road. He only jumped three times before he got run over by an 18-wheeler.

"Why did the frog cross the road?" said Frank.

"He didn't," said Victor. All three men began to laugh.

Rotten Frog jumped up and bit Victor in the neck. Victor collapsed to the ground dead. Fred and Frank stopped laughing instantly.

"If you two want to avoid the same fate as him, then no more Frogger!" said Rotten Frog.

"Fine," said Fred. "You said you're coldblooded killers. Prove it. Kill someone for me."

"I know exactly who!" said Rotten Frog.

* * *

Dick Dick threw a fireball and destroyed another lake. He then shot a fireball at a swimming pool in a city, evaporating all water.

"What if they're rebuilding Cloudsdale?" Dick Dick suddenly said. "And they decide to ambush me with a raincloud when my guard is down?" He shivered. "Hale! Go to what's left of Cloudsdale and kill all the pegasi!" He handed Hale a sniper rifle. "Kellerman! I want you to find the nearest lake west and destroy it while I head east!"

Dick Dick, Hale, and Kellerman flew away.

* * *

At a meadow, Fluttershy was frolicking in the flowers, when suddenly Sour Frog and Rotten Frog appeared.

"Hello," said Fluttershy.

"Don't hello me!" said Rotten Frog. "We have a score to settle! You killed our family!"

"No, the hydra did," said Fluttershy.

"Because you took us to the bog!" said Sour Frog.

"No, the hydra did," said Fluttershy again.

"Well... then who are we to blame?" said Rotten Frog.

"The hydra," said Fluttershy.

"SHE'S TRICKING US ROTTEN!" said Sour Frog.

"How can you be sure?" said Rotten Frog.

"She pulled the cart!" said Sour Frog. "SHE BROUGHT OUR FAMILY THERE!"

"The hydra did," said Fluttershy, unable to say anything else.

"This is making my brain hurt!" said Rotten Frog. "I need a moment to think!"

"There is no need to think about it!" said Sour Frog. "It's clear she took us there and that makes it her fault!"

"The hydra did it," Fluttershy said again.

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Rotten Frog hopped away.

"He's hopeless!" said Sour Frog. "The rotten flesh of his must have gotten to his brain!"

"I have a pet snake that needs feeding," said Fluttershy.

"Say wha...?" Fluttershy began stomping on Sour Frog.

"STOP IT!" said Sour Frog. "YOU'RE KILLING ME!"

"I don't plan to kill you," said Fluttershy. "Bertha likes her food to be alive."

"WHO'S BERTHA?!" said Sour Frog, terrified.

"My snake," said Fluttershy. She threw the broken frog into a pit.

"No, not the pit!" said Sour Frog. "Please, not the pit! No! NOT THE PIT!"

"Lunch time!" said Fluttershy.

Sour Frog turned around to see a snake.

"You can't leave me down here!" said Sour Frog. And in the next few seconds, the snake gobbled up the ugly frog.

"Just the way you like it Bertha," said Fluttershy. "Extra sour!"

* * *

As Hale flew toward Cloudsdale, he flew by a town. Its water supply had been destroyed by Dick Dick. The people walked around, thirsty, their mouths parched, nothing to drink. Hale felt horrible for them.

He flew up to Cloudsdale, but it was deserted. He saw a banner saying "Funeral in Ponyville for Derpy Hooves and Cloud Kicker." Hale flew over to the funeral and took aim with a sniper rifle.

"Cloud Kicker was an excellent pegasus," said an old, bald pony at the lectern. "And Derpy Hooves was an excellent source of comic relief and a fan favorite. There will never be another like her. We will miss those ponies."

Hale couldn't bring himself to pull the trigger. Then, a white unicorn filly with a purple mane and tail ran up to the old pony and said "This one's too old!" Sweetie Belle ran off leaving the old pony looking bewildered.

* * *

Rotten Frog appeared before Princess Celestia. Twilight Sparkle was in the room.

"Princess Celestia!" said Rotten Frog. "Your tail is not poetry in motion! I hate it!"

"DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT!" said Twilight.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the punishment for that being banished to the moon?" said Rotten Frog.

"It is," said Celestia. And she kicked Rotten Frog to the moon.

"Now to get my revenge!" said Rotten Frog. He hopped around until he found the Hydra.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" said Rotten Frog.

"You can't!" said Malcolm. "We adopted him as our own! His name's Flying Feather! He doesn't know what it means so it's OK."

"HE WILL DIE NO MATTER WHAT YOU NAMED HIM!" said Rotten Frog, and he bit Malcolm, giving him every disease known to man. Malcolm's face turned green, he foamed at the mouth, and fell to the ground dead.

"NOOOOOO!" said Azazel. "Flying Feather! Kill that toad!"

Rotten Frog bit the Hydra hard. The Hydra whimpered and hid behind a moonrock.

* * *

Fred and Frank watched from behind a tree.

"Well that went to hell in a handbasket!" said Fred. "We're down four gang members."

"If you don't count the ones we just got a few moments ago, we're down one," said Frank.

"Fluttershy, there's two gangsters hiding behind you," said Pinkie Pie.

Fluttershy turned around to see Fred and Frank.

"I suggest we run!" said Fred. He and Frank RAN LIKE HELL!

"Hell runs fast," said Frank.

"But Rainbow flies faster!" said Fred.

"And the only thing that comes even faster is..." came a voice. Fred and Frank suddenly found themselves blocked off by a pink pony.

"ME!" said Pinkie Pie.

"How in the glorious hell did you catch up?" said Fred.

"I don't know," said Pinkie. She threw a metal bat dart. It hit Fred in the neck.

"I'm Batmare," said Pinkie in a deep voice.

"PULL IT OUT!" said Fred. "PULL IT OUT!"

"Don't!" said Frank. "If you do, you'll bleed out!"

Pinkie pulled the dart out, and Fred guggled blood.

"Now I'm all alone!" said Frank. He ran like hell. "Hell runs fast." He waited for Fred to say Rainbow flies faster. "Dammit, it's not the same without the other guys!"

Pinkie Pie blocked his path.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Frank ran up Donkey Kong Mountain. Pinkie blocked his path. Frank screamed in terror and climbed a tree. The tree turned into Fluttershy. Then Pinkie appeared out of nowhere. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Frank raised a gun and put it to his head. Pinkie bashed him on the head with a TV remote, knocking him out.

* * *

Rainbow Dash was flying above a lake, waiting for Dick Dick to show up and destroy it. Princess Celestia had made her aware of his dastardly plans. Then, Hale flew up to him.

"Dick Dick!" said Rainbow Dash.

"Wait!" said Hale. "I'm not here to destroy the lake! I've been looking for you! You're just the pegasus for the job!"

"What job?" said Rainbow.

"My name is Daniel Hale," said Hale. "I used to work for Dick Dick, but my conscience is telling me not to work for him anymore. Dick Dick is going to kill everypony on Earth and he's already made us kill two pegasi in his name. I want him killed, and I can think of nopony else but you to ask to help me with that."

"What do you want to do?" said Rainbow.

"He'll be at Licking Bull Lake any second now. We'll fly over to him, and when I tell you, fly around him as fast as you can and far enough away so he can't see you. I'll distract him, and then you make it rain on him. If his tail flame goes out, he'll die!"

"Let's get him!" said Rainbow.

"Well well well, Hale," came a voice. Hale turned around to see Kellerman.

"What are you doing here?" said Hale.

"This was the lake Dick Dick assigned me to destroy," said Kellerman. "Are you conspiring with Rainbow Dash to kill Dick Dick?"

"No," said Hale, avoiding eye contact. "I'm... um... trying to trick her into flying into the sun!"

"Nice try," said Kellerman. He pulled out a gun and shot Hale's tail off. Hale plunged lifeless into the water below. Rainbow flew around and bit Kellerman's tail.

"Why don't you join him?" said Rainbow.

"Ingliy spiking world!" said Kellerman. He turned human again and fell.

As Rainbow flew off toward Licking Bull Lake, Kellerman resumed Charizard form and caught himself in midair just above the water.

Rainbow reached Licking Bull Lake in no time. Dick Dick was there.

"Let me guess. Dick Dick."

Dick Dick turned around and immediately began to cower. "NOOOOOOOOOOO! IT'S RAINBOW DASH! SHE'LL PUT OUT MY FLAME!"

"Right you are!" said Rainbow, and she set a raincloud above Dick Dick and stomped on it.

Dick Dick screamed like a girl and dodged the rain. Immediately, Rainbow bit Dick Dick's tail and dove down toward the ground.

"Time for a swim!" said Rainbow.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" said Dick Dick.

As they got nearer to the water, Dick Dick threw a flame into it. Licking Bull Lake evaporated, and Rainbow Dash collided with the sand, dazing her. Dick Dick got to his feet, dusted himself off, and flew away.

* * *

"I found it! I found it! I found it!" said Pinkie Pie.

Luna ran over to the bomb. It had a timer on it and was slowly counting down. There were thirty minutes left on it. "This is big enough to blow the college and every building within a 4-mile radius sky high! Fortunately I know a spell for diffusing bombs."

Smith and Wesson raised their guns. Pinkie's tail twitched, and the golf ball and bowling ball got Smith and Wesson one more time.

Luna cast a spell on the bomb, and its timer faded away.

* * *

"So, who should we sent to kill Rainbow?" said Dick Dick.

Kellerman whispered something into Dick Dick's ear.

"Do you really think we can get them?" said Dick Dick.

"If a gangster can, so can we," said Kellerman.

"Do it," said Dick Dick.

* * *

"So, how were you going to get off the moon?" said Azazel.

"By digging a hole to Earth!" said Rotten Frog proudly.

"That might work," said Edgar.

Edgar, Azazel, Nina, Rotten Frog, and the Hydra began digging a hole.


	5. Dark and Creepy

**My Little Pony: Save the College**

**Chapter 5: Dark and Creepy**

AN: As the title implies, this chapter is as violent as this story gets. I toned down the gore level, but it's still pretty violent, hence the T rating.

* * *

"The bomb should have detonated by now," said Chester in his office at Hoeincker Tower.

"Luna must've diffused it," said Wesson.

"What should we do?" said Chester.

"Another bomb!" said Bennett.

"We already tried that," said Chester. "We have to find another way to destroy Close College and collapse everypony's dreams. Hmm... Smith, Wesson, let me know if that solar powered weapon Icarus is online."

"Weren't the controls destroyed along with Gustav Graves?" said Wesson.

"We'll have to find a way to control it," said Chester. "It's our only shot at destroying the college."

* * *

"Dick Dick!" said Kellerman.

"What?" said Dick Dick. "I'm busy cowering in fear of Rainbow Dash! I told you not to disturb me unless it's them!"

"Yes, Dick Dick, and, well... it's them!"

Mandy and Jaws walked into the room.

"Excellent!" said Dick Dick. "Now. There is a pegasus with a rainbow mane and tail. Her name is Rainbow Dash. I want you to kill her. Jaws, see if you can bite off her wings. Rainbow's wings always seem to take damage so it shouldn't be too hard.

"Once her wings are down I'll shoot her in the head," said Mandy.

Suddenly, Rainbow Dash and Luna appeared.

"How did you find us?" said Dick Dick.

"I followed you back after you destroyed that one lake," said Luna.

Kellerman turned into Charizard and faced Luna. "I'll burn you to death so you can never get any more lines!"

Luna bodychecked Kellerman, sending them both falling toward a pit. Luna cast a spell, and the pit filled up with water.

"Your greatest weakness!" said Luna.

"Ingliy spiking world!" said Kellerman. "What? WHY CAN'T I TURN BACK?!"

"Because my power is greater than yours or his!" said Luna.

Luna and Kellerman landed in the water with a SPLASH! Dick Dick, Rainbow, Mandy, and Jaws looked over the edge. Kellerman lay motionless and his flame was out. Luna flew back up to the others.

Jaws punched Rainbow Dash, sending her flying a ways away from the others. Jaws walked over to her, ready to bite. Rainbow flew into the air, and used Rain Nuke, smashing into Jaws. There was a rainbow mushroom cloud explosion. When the dust settled, Jaws stood there unharmed.

"How could he survive Rain Nuke?" said Rainbow.

"I appear in more episodes now Mandy," said Luna.

"Nightmare Moon doesn't count coz Lauren Faust said she's the embodiment of your jealousy!" said Mandy.

"Well it's still me possessed," said Luna.

Mandy aimed a gun at Luna, whose horn glowed with magic. Rainbow after kicking Jaws to very little effect, flew over to Dick Dick and bit his tail.

"Stop it! It hurts!" said Dick Dick.

"I shall enjoy this!" said Rainbow.

Suddenly, the dirt beneath Rainbow's hooves began to move, and she hopped aside just as it exploded, and out appeared Azazel!

"Yes! It worked! We are off the moon!" said Azazel.

Rainbow screamed and kicked Azazel in the head as hard as she could. The yellow-eyed demon's head spun 360 degrees.

"He scared the hell outta me!" said Rainbow.

Azazel's body was twitching.

"He's still alive," said Luna.

Then the hydra came out of the hole.

"HOLY TARTARUS!" said Luna.

"A HYDRA!" said Dick Dick. He turned around to run, but the Hydra bit off his tail, and Dick Dick fell to the ground dead. Thinking him to be a frog, the hydra ate Dick Dick. Edgar, Nina, and Rotten Frog climbed out of the hole.

"Azazel, are you all right?" said Nina.

Azazel didn't respond. Nina took a pillow and smothered Azazel. Applejack bit his tail and hauled his bloody corpse away.

"I'll banish you to the sun, hydra!" said Luna.

"The hydra's got a name now!" said Edgar. "Flying Feather!"

Rotten Frog bit Luna's tail and tried to tear it off. Luna kicked Rotten Frog in the face and he lost a tooth.

"Dammit!" said Rotten Frog. "I'm missing some teeth! I suggest we run!"

Rotten Frog, Edgar, and Nina hopped on the hydra's back and Flying Feather ran away.

"Now for Mandy," said Luna.

"Jaws," said Rainbow Dash.

But then they turned, both assassins were gone.

* * *

Frank Dog woke up in a dark room. There was a red light in the room. He found that he was in a vice.

"HELP!" said Frank. "ANYONE! HEEEEEEEEELP! Am I dead?"

A deep voice spoke. "You're not dead. You've been taken against your will."

"Colby?" said Frank. He was always a fan of Survivor.

"It's not Colby," said the voice. "He's back on Heroes vs. Villains 5 and is dominating challenges once again. No, it's somepony who's going to make you into..."

The room lit up, revealing a pink pony.

"CUPCAKES!" said Pinkie Pie.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" said Frank.

Pinkie cut off Frank's arm with a meat cleaver.

"You might not know this about me," said Frank, "but I don't taste very good! That Hydra that's on the moon? He ate me and spit me out last week?"

"Last week the Hydra was on the moon," said Pinkie.

"I... got banished to the moon?" said Frank.

Pinkie put his arm in the cupcake mix. "I need you for harvesting!" She took a pair of pliars and held them to Frank's toe.

"I think you'd better change scenes and see what Chester Hoeincker's up to," said Pinkie. "If we show any more in detail, this fic would be rated M." She cut off Frank's toe and he screamed in pain.

* * *

Chester, Bennett, Smith, and Wesson were working on controls for Icarus using plans they took from one of Graves's bases.

"Won't our base be destroyed too?" said Bennett.

"This used to be Eggman's base when he conspired with Gustav Graves to fire the device, before Shadow killed the former and James Bond killed the latter," said Chester. "This base is impervious to solar lasers."

* * *

Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity, and Luna stood before Princess Celestia.

"But I banished them to the moon," said Celestia.

"They dug a tunnel back to Earth," said Luna.

"How?" said Celestia. "The earth and the moon aren't connected."

"No reason must've done it," said Rainbow Dash. "The most powerful element. Meaning no offense to the Elements of Harmony, of course."

"Unfortunately we have a much bigger problem than escaped prisoners," said Celestia. "Remember the Icarus space station? Chester Hoeincker is trying to reactivate it. If he succeeds, he'll not only destroy Close College, but the entire city, and all of Equestria as well. We have to stop him!"

"It's far too late for that!" came a deep voice. Smith and Wesson appeared.

"They're already starting it up!" said Smith. "And aiming at this very spot to fry you buggers to hell!"

"Then why are you here?" said Luna.

"THAT BACKSTABBER!" said Smith, realizing that Chester and Bennett had left them to die with everypony else.

They all looked to the sky. Icarus was gathering energy from the sun and ready to fire its powerful beam any second.

"We're doomed!" said Celestia.

"No wait!" said Luna. "You can control the sun, right?"

"Yes?" said Celestia.

"Then control it!"

"Of course!" Celestia's horn glowed, and the sun set. Icarus was powered down and plunged into the sea.

While everypony was distracted with Icarus, Smith and Wesson ran off.

* * *

"Why hasn't the sun set?" said Chester.

"Princess Celestia lowered the sun," said Wesson.

"Dammit!" said Chester. "And now Icarus is gone for good. We must get our revenge on her."

For nearly half an hour, Chester and Bennett tried to think of a new plan. Bennett, who was dumb as dirt, came up with stupid ideas which his father rejected.

"It's been later," said Chester. "We need to think up a new plan."

Smith walked in.

"Sir!" said Smith. "Intruders are here! We managed to capture them!"

"Bring them in," said Chester.

Smith opened the door, and Wesson walked in with Nina, Edgar, Rotten Frog, and the hydra.

"This is a cool pla..." began Rotten Frog, but Chester stomped on him until he was dead.

"What the hell was that for?" said Smith.

"I'm hungry," said Chester. He ate Rotten Frog, then gagged.

"I think I'm going to hurl!" said Smith.

"That's so cruel!" said Nina. "Flying Feather! Get him!"

But it was too late, for the hydra had a heart attack from seeing Rotten Frog get eaten.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" said Nina.

"Good, more meat to go around," said Chester, not eying the Hydra but Nina.

"You're a cannibal," said Edgar.

"I think he's undergoing a Villainous Breakdown after his last plan got foiled," said Wesson.

"He's gone bonkers," said Smith.

"Smith! Wesson! Take her to the kitchen! We'll be eating her for dinner tonight!" said Chester.

"You're kidding right?" said Bennett.

Chester shot Nina in the head.

"Do it NOW!" said Chester.

They looked to the kitchen. The lights were blinking, giving it a Dead Space vibe. Sitting on the counter in the kitchen was a cupcake.

"Just my luck!" said Chester. "DESSERT!"

"I got a bad vibe about this!" said Bennett.

They could hear a little giggle echo in the distance.

"What's the worst that could happen?" said Chester. "It's just a cupcake in an eerie kitchen that gives you a Dead Space vibe with an echoing giggle!"

Chester walked into the kitchen to take the cupcake. Then the lights flickered off and all was dark.

"Dad?" said Bennett. "DAD?!"

The lights turned back on, and where Chester stood seconds before, an arm lay in a puddle of blood holding the cupcake.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" said Bennett. He, Smith, and Wesson darted for the elevator. Smith pressed the button like mad.

"OH HELL OH HELL!" he said. "WE ARE GOING TO DIE MAN!"

The door opened. Smith jumped in, Bennett next, and Wesson was about to jump in when he stopped in his tracks.

"What are you do... ing..." said Smith, but he immediately saw why. A knife was seen protruding out of Wesson's chest. He looked up with a baby face and began to cry.

"FFFFFFFFF..." said Smith, kicking Wesson to the ground and a creature jumped on top of Wesson and began to maul him with its teeth as the elevator door closed.

"OH CRAP OH CRAP!" said Bennett. "WHAT DO WE DO? WHAT WAS THAT?!"

"I don't know!" said Smith. "All I saw... was pink!"

"NECROMORPHS!" said Bennett, his face white as a ghost.

"SHUT UP!" said Smith, his face equally white.

Suddenly there was a loud bang and the elevator shook. The lights flickered.

"WHAT WAS THAT?!" said Smith. He and Bennett looked to the ceiling.

"It's on the elevator roof!" said Bennett.

The door binged and opened. Bennett ran out just as the roof collapsed. The creature grabbed Smith and began stabbing him repeatedly. Bennett screamed as he looked back.

"SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" said Smith. The elevator doors suddenly shut and cut off Smith's head.

"NO!" said Bennett. "NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!"

The door reopened, and there, standing in the elevator, holding a heart freshly ripped out of Smith's chest, was Pinkie Pie.

"Who's in for a PARTY?" said Pinkie Pie.

"NOT ME!" said Bennett.

Pinkie kicked Smith's head like a soccer ball, and it hit Bennett in the face. Bennett fell to the floor and began bawling. Pinkie stood over him.

"You think we should eat him now or later my new friend?" said Pinkie.

A tall man walked over to Pinkie.

"Eat him now," said Jaws. And they pounced on him.

Several minutes later, Pinkie and Jaws were drinking wine, sitting next to Bennett's skeleton.

"Well, here's to us," said Jaws.

"After this is done do you wanna watch Lesson Zero?" said Pinkie. "Twilight's breakdown is even creepier than my breakdown in the episode I showed you!"

* * *

Breathing heavily, his heart racing, Edgar raced out of Hoeincker Tower, whose lights were still flickering on all but one level.

"I just barely made it out of there!" he said. "Good thing that necromorph came when it did or else they'd have killed me too! I gotta find the bug!"

* * *

Pinkie Pie and Jaws appeared before Celestia. Luna, Twilight, and the others were still in the room staring at the spot where Icarus fell.

"Chester Hoeincker won't be attempting revenge on you," said Pinkie.

"How did you get Jaws on your side?" said Luna.

"I showed him an episode of our show!" said Pinkie. "It was the episode 'Party of One'!"

"That'll do it," said Rainbow.

"I have wonderful news," said Celestia. "When Dick Dick died, all the water he destroyed was restored. The world will thrive again."

* * *

In a dark, eerie area, a cocroch a cangling... er... a cockroach a changeling flew in with the Scum of the Universe on her back. Edgar dismounted Chrysalis as she landed on top of a staircase. Both kneeled to a throne with its back facing them.

"The ponies didn't give in as easily as we thought," said Chrysalis. "To screw with them is to court death!"

Thanos stood up, turned around, and smiled evilly.

* * *

Thanos is from the Avengers series, and Icarus and Gustav Graves are the final threat and antagonist, respectively, in the original James Bond series. The deaths of Chester's gang Tonikoos based off Dead Space, which he plays (and was originally more gory, but this was reduced at least to the level of Indiana Jones).


	6. The Stair Master

**My Little Pony: Save the College**

**Chapter 6: The Stair Master**

"Queen Chrysalis! King Sombra! Scum of the Universe! The Other! Riptide! Azazel!" Thanos's voice rang throughout the entire area. "We have two new recruits!"

Frank Dog and Mandy walked in. Frank had a mechanical arm.

"If you can help me rule the universe," said Thanos, "you'll not only have two million dollars. By joining my team and remaining loyal to me, you'll have more screentime than they ever gave you in 24!"

"I was supposed to appear in Seasons 7 and 8 but they decided against it to avoid pleasing the fans," said Mandy.

"Is that a gangster?" said Edgar. He loved gangsters.

"Yes, I am," said Frank. "I was captured by a pink pony. She tried to make me into cupcakes!" He shivered. "She cut off my arm and my toe, but before she could do more, Jaws, an assassin my late boss hired, tried to bite her tail off and then kill her but she subdued him and forced him to watch My Little Pony. While she was getting it set up I managed to escape."

"I can't believe there's another Azazel here!" said Edgar. "I was just on the same team as a demon named Azazel."

"I may look like a demon, but I'm a mutant," said Azazel from X-Men. He had red skin, dark hair and a beard, and a devil-like tail. He spoke with a Russian accent.

"Isn't this Silent Tornado Guy who's been upturning cars left and right?" said Frank.

"His name is Riptide," said Edgar.

"In case anypony is unfamiliar," said Thanos, "the girl with the dark hair is Mandy, a professional assassin with little screentime."

"I know the feeling," said King Sombra.

"And the gangster with the metal arm, his name is Frank Dog. Frank Dog, Mandy, this is The Other, my second in command. Queen Chrysalis and King Sombra are united as third in command. They're creepy sinister malevolent dark forms that made _Discord_ seem less evil. I think we've already introduced Riptide and Azazel. And this is my fourth in command, Edgar, the Scum of the Universe.

"He'll pay all my wages in steak!" said Edgar.

"Now, I need four victims... I mean, volunteers, to attack the ponies that defeated Dick Dick and Chester Hoeincker."

"They'll have Jaws on their side now," said Frank. "He's invincible."

"You question him?" said The Other, offended. "He's more invincible than Jaws will ever be!"

"You have the honor of racing Rainbow Dash," said Thanos. The Other bowed before his master. "King Sombra, you are the single greatest unicorn in Equestria. Not even Twilight can match your skills."

"I shall impale her with a dark crystal!" said Sombra.

"Azazel, Riptide, see if you can take out the others," said Thanos.

Azazel and Riptide turned toward The Other. Azazel raised his tail like a scorpion's stinger. Riptide formed a tornado in his hand. The Other hissed at them.

"Not The Other!" said Thanos. "The other ponies!"

Azazel grabbed The Other and Riptide's hands. Sombra bit Azazel's tail. They teleported away.

* * *

At Canterlot, a party was held to celebrate the fall of Chester Hoeincker and Dick Dick. Everypony was drinking punch and eating cake. A huge, delectable cake was out for Pinkie, who was eating it like there was no tomorrow.

"How do you like your divine diamond teeth?" said Rarity.

Jaws grinned at her, showing the sharp diamond teeth Rarity had given him.

"They'll be just as effective, if not more effective, than your metal teeth," said Rarity.

The party went on for hours, until it was over.

"We should do this again sometime!" said Pinkie. By now it was only her, her friends, Celestia, and Luna.

Suddenly, there was a puff of red smoke. King Sombra, Queen Chrysalis, Riptide, and Azazel appeared.

"You should be dead!" said Twilight.

"Nopony can survive a fall like that!" said Rainbow Dash.

"I have Team Rocket's immunity!" said Chrysalis.

"And who's this dark unicorn?" said Twilight.

"He is King Sombra," said Celestia. "His heart is black as night. My sister and I imprisoned him a thousand years ago. Somehow, he's back."

"And I landed right next to him," said Chrysalis. "He wanted to attack the Crystal Empire, but I told him I had plans for greater power! A greater power that will rule over the universe! He goes by the name of..."

"You're monologuing again," said Sombra. "Don't give away our plans!"

"Nopony is faster than me," said The Other. "I can run as fast as hell itself, whom you ponies know as Tartarus."

"Nothing can run as fast as Tartarus!" said Celestia.

"But there's one pegasus who can fly faster!" said Rainbow Dash. "I challenge you to a race across Equestria!"

"3... 2... Go!" said The Other, and he ran across in a blue blur. Rainbow raced after him. The blue blur and rainbow blur seemed neck in neck, but the rainbow blur seemed to be gaining the lead.

Twilight faced Thanos.

"You're the most powerful unicorn in Equestria!" said Spike. "He doesn't stand a chance against you!"

"You may have been the most powerful unicorn when I was imprisoned in ice," said Sombra. "But my magic is far greater than yours!" His horn glowed with a black aura. Green magic with purple magic that looked like some sort of reactor core appeared on the ground, and a dark crystal rose up out of the ground. Spikes shot out from the crystal.

"Aside from light and love, King Sombra has one weakness!" said Celestia to Twilight.

"What?" said Twilight.

Celestia whispered into her ear.

"Now to finish you off!" said Sombra, aiming a sharp dark crystal at Twilight and licking his lips.

Twilight cast a spell, and an Escher staircase appeared. Sombra's black heart leapt and he jumped onto the staircase and ran up it endlessly.

"Stairs?" said Spike. "Seriously?"

"His castle is full of ridiculously long staircases," said Luna.

"Help!" came three voices. Twilight, Spike, Celestia, Luna, and Applejack turned to see Azazel with his tail wrapped around Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity's tails.

"What if her tail extensions fall off?" said Azazel. Riptide didn't reply.

"That was just gossip!" said Twilight. "Fluttershy doesn't have tail extensions! Ponies' tails reflect their manes and the length of her mane is proportionate! Now let them go!"

"I think not," said Azazel. "If you want to rescue your friends, come and rescue them in the dungeon of Vulcan Volano.

Rainbow Dash reappeared, and seconds later, The Other.

"I win again!" said Rainbow.

"Why can't I beat her?" said The Other, frustrated.

Celestia charged at Azazel with her horn. Riptide waved his hand around and sent a tornado at her. It sent Celestia, Luna, Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Spike, and Jaws flying into the air. The Other grabbed Riptide's hand as Riptide grabbed Azazel's hand. Azazel teleported them to the Escher staircase, grabbed Sombra's tail, and teleported away with them all.

"We've got to go to Vulcan Volcano," said Celestia.

"Doesn't anypony think this might be a trap?" said Rainbow Dash.

"Well we can't just let them kill Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity," said Twilight.

"I have a plan," said Luna.

* * *

Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity were locked in a cell in the dungeon next to a railroad. The Other, Sombra, Azazel, and Riptide were standing guard.

"Do you think they're going to show?" said Sombra.

"If they do, don't get distracted if Twilight creates another..." began The Other, but it ended in a groan. Sombra was already dashing up a staircase that wasn't there seconds earlier. He reached the top, but there wasn't a wall there, and Sombra fell.

"Watch the prisoners," said The Other, and he raced over to the evil unicorn to get him back up.

Luna blasted Riptide with a magic beam, knocking him to the ground. Celestia ran at Azazel. He teleported out of the way, and then Rainbow Dash kicked him, knocking him against a wall.

Jaws bent the bars of the cell, and the three imprisoned ponies walked out of it.

"Onto the mini train car!" said Celestia. They got onto a mini train on the nearest railroad, and rode it onto one of the two center railroads. Cars were driving on these railroads as well.

"AFTER THEM!" said Sombra. He, The Other, Riptide, and Azazel got on a bigger train on the opposite track, and turned it around to chase after the ponies' train. Sombra used his magic to speed up the train.

"They're gainin' on us!" said Applejack.

"I can take them!" said Rainbow Dash.

"You wouldn't be able to get a distance away to do the Sonic Rainboom," said Twilight.

"Besides, we've still got a plan," said Luna.

"Any second now!" said Rarity.

"Now!" said Celestia.

Twilight levitated their train car into the air, so that Sombra's train went directly underneath them.

"They're going backwards now!" said Sombra. "I've got to turn this thing around before we lose them!"

"No, don't!" said The Other. Sombra could hear fear in his voice. He would know. He used fear on his enemies all the time.

"Why not?" said Sombra.

"Because there are cars moving along these railroads, and they only drive like this when..."

"Are you going to tell me you're worried about the cars? We're all evil here!"

"I'm not worried about the cars, I'm worried about..."

"This train is too powerful to be damaged by those pathetic cars."

"It's not that either! It's..."

But The Other's words fell on deaf ears, for Sombra cut him off by suddenly turning the train around. Moving as fast as it could with Sombra's magic powering it, they plowed through cars. Azazel nodded to Riptide. They grabbed each other's hands and teleported away. The train obliterated one car after another... and then plunged straight into a wave of lava!

* * *

A mini train car appeared out of nowhere to the side of the Canterlot railway. Celestia, Luna, the Mane 6, and Jaws got out of it.

"Do you think they're dead?" said Twilight.

"We can only hope they didn't all teleport off," said Celestia. "But even if they did, we rescued the prisoners."

* * *

Azazel and Riptide appeared before Thanos, Chrysalis, Edgar, Frank, and Mandy.

"Master!" said Azazel. "I have terrible news. The Other and Sombra are dead! Sombra refused to heed The Other's warnings, and crashed his train into the magma of Vulcan Volcano."

"And you know this how?" said Thanos.

"I was there. When I realized how Sombra and The Other were going to end up, we..."

"You ran away, didn't you?" said Thanos. "You could have at least gotten The Other off there!" He grabbed Azazel's tail and squeezed it. Azazel was forced to his knees in pain. Thanos released Azazel's tail.

"We are going to have to find new recruits to replace them," said Thanos.

"I've already raised chickens from hell," said Chrysalis.

* * *

Azazel and Riptide are from X-Men. The Other, from The Avengers. Chickens from hell are from Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Also, sorry I didn't keep Sombra around longer, but in our original story he died in the previous chapter during the fight with Dick Dick, when he and Jaws fall down a staircase and Sombra breaks his neck while Jaws is unharmed.


	7. Insanity

**My Little Pony: Save the College**

**Chapter 7: Insanity**

Frank Dog wandered into the Mysterious Beyond. A raptor ran up to him. Frank punched him in the face with his metal arm and he went flying. Frank walked into the darkest, gloomiest, foulest corner of the Mysterious Beyond until he found the G3 ponies, festering in all of their inglorious G3-ness.

"Who is the leader here?" said Frank.

"I am," said Stickhead.

"I come to you with an offer!" said Frank. "Join me, Edgar, Queen Chrysalis, Mandy, Riptide, Azazel, and Thanos in our quest to dominate the world!"

"Who will be the boss?" said Stickhead.

"Thanos, of course," said Frank. "He's the most powerful."

"And who will be the second in command?" said Stickhead.

"If you're asking what place you're going to be in, you're G3 ponies so you're on the bottom rung of the ladder," said Frank. "You know chickens from hell? You take orders from them!"

"Never!" said Stickhead. Her horn glowed and she projected a holographic image of an episode of G3! Frank screamed in terror.

* * *

Twilight, dressed like Snake from Metal Gear, and Pinkie Pie, dressed like Sam Fisher from Splinter Cell, walked in.

"They've got chickens from hell!" said Pinkie. "I dressed up as one of those for Nightmare Night once!"

"But the good news is, I can confirm that The Other and Sombra are dead," said Twilight. "Azazel and Riptide must have teleported off without them."

"Have you found a way into their base yet?" said Luna.

"No," said Twilight. "There are armed chickens from hell at every entrance. We'd never get through unseen."

"We could just bash our way through!" said Rainbow Dash. "Jaws! Can you smash the entrance? Or am I gonna have to Rain Nuke..."

"Until we find out who the boss is and just how powerful he is, we must wait and think of a plan," said Celestia.

* * *

Chickens from hell escorted Frank into Thanos's base, screaming his head off.

"Frank Dog!" said Edgar, running over to the terror-stricken gangster. "What happened?"

"G3!" said Frank. "THEY SHOWED ME G3! AAAAAAAA!"

"We'll have to lock him in our makeshift asylum and hope that he gets better," said Chrysalis.

"And what if he doesn't?" said Edgar. "We need a gangster like him!"

Chrysalis picked up Frank by the collar of his coat with her mouth and threw him into a room with metal floors and walls. The door's window had bars on it. Chrysalis closed the door and locked it.

"What if he doesn't recover?" said Edgar.

"Then we'll have to kill him," said Chrysalis. "He'll only slow us down."

* * *

Inside the room, Frank saw Thanos, Chrysalis, Edgar, Riptide, Azazel, The Other, and Sombra standing before him. But weren't The Other and Sombra dead?

"You have failed this one mission, Frank Dog!" said Thanos.

"You're going to die in this room!" said Chrysalis.

"You never pulled your weight around here!" said Edgar.

"Your tale has come to an end," said Azazel with a flick of his tail.

"You'll be silenced forever!" said Riptide.

"Trapped inside your own fear!" said Sombra.

"You will long for what Pinkie did to you!" said The Other.

"I tried to win the G3 ponies over!" said Frank.

"Next time, don't offer so low a position to them," said Edgar. "At LEAST put them on the same level as the chickens, moron!"

* * *

Chickens from hell invaded Equestria. The Mane 6, Celestia, Luna, and Jaws fought them. Even Spike fought against the chickens, roasting some by breathing fire at them. The chickens began to maul Pinkie Pie. Fluttershy used The Stare on them and they backed away and ran. Jaws bit some of their heads off. Celestia and Luna blasted some with magic beams, and impaled some with their horns. Rarity was about to shoot a magic beam at a chicken when Rainbow kicked the chicken into a wall. The chicken fell and lay still. Rarity bit Rainbow's tail and pulled her a bit toward the ground.

"Hey, he was mine!" said Rarity.

"I didn't see your name on it," said Rainbow. "But you can have those chickens over there. I'll get this one!"

* * *

Frank was laying face down on the ground in his cell. Then, he looked up. His old mob stood before him.

"Augustus?" said Frank. "But Mandy said she killed you! Cesar Mario, Antony Mario! Vodka! Victor Swan! Fred Futch! I thought all of you were dead!"

"You let us die," said Fred. Blood trickled from his mouth. "You just stood there and didn't do jack!"

"We're all dead because of you!" said Victor, a bite mark visible in his neck.

"You should have said Luke Saknussman didn't have the money to pay Mandy!" said Augustus, who had a bullet hole in his chest.

"I swear I didn't know!" said Frank.

"Didn't know?" said Antony. "You used me as bait to kill Brother Andrew!"

"You underestimated his power," said Cesar.

"MAKE IT STOP!" said Frank.

Pinkie Pie walked in with a chainsaw.

"Okey dokey Loki!" she said. She butchered all the gangsters with a chainsaw. Then she held her chainsaw up to Frank.

"PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!" said Frank.

His screams of pain could be heard outside. Edgar looked in the window. Frank was making motions as though being sliced with an invisible sharp object.

"Looks like he's hallucinating about Pinkie Pie," said Edgar.

* * *

The ponies continued fighting chickens from hell, until there were none left. If any were alive, they were driven back into the depths of h e double hockey sticks by Fluttershy's Stare.

"All of the chickens are back in Tartarus where they belong," said Luna.

A reporter named Dick Thornburg walked up with a microphone. "They didn't do very good against the killer chickens. We expected all of them gone in five seconds. And these ponies are so pathetic because they still can't figure out who's behind all this!"

"Let's leave," said Celestia, and the ponies walked/flew away with Jaws and Spike.

* * *

Frank was now seeing G3 ponies dancing everywhere, with the spotlight on Stickhead.

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" he said. "EDGAR!"

* * *

"Queen Chrysalis!" said Thanos. "We have an intruder. Deal with here."

Chrysalis flew out the window to the entrance to Thanos's lair. Stickhead stood at the gate.

"Begone, G3 pony!" said Chrysalis. "You're not worth my time!"

"I have an offer for you!" said Stickhead.

"Is that what you told Frank Dog?" said Chrysalis.

"That man would put be below the common chickens from hell!" said Stickhead. "I demand a higher position."

"You'll be granted equal status to the chickens," said Chrysalis.

"More," said Stickhead.

"Riptide and Azazel," said Chrysalis.

"More."

"Mandy."

"More."

"Edgar."

"I want to be second in command, above you."

"You're insane!" said Chrysalis. "I am his second in command after The Other died, and I'll relinquish that title to nopony!"

"If you don't, I'll show you... G3!" said Stickhead.

"NO!" said Chrysalis, waving her hooves at her. "All right! I'll do it!"

Stickhead held up a contract. "Sign it."

Chrysalis levitated a pen and signed her name.

"Now we're in business together... forever!" said Stickhead. Chrysalis shuddered.

* * *

Twilight and Pinkie returned from another spying mission.

"Frank Dog's lost his marbles!" said Pinkie Pie.

Everypony else was staring at the TV.

"What?" said Twilight.

"Can you believe it?" said Rainbow Dash. "Dick Thornburg's done it again! He just blew your cover on live television! Now the bad guys will know you two were spying on them!"

"WHAT?!" said Pinkie.

* * *

Frank cowered in the corner of his cell. He suddenly looked down. Dark red veins began creeping up his hand. He looked in the mirror to see the veins on his face.

"GUYS! HELP!" said Frank.

Frank's screams of terror could be heard outside, but for once Edgar wasn't paying attention.

"So correct me if I'm wrong, but you willingly signed up to be the G3 ponies' bitch?" said Edgar.

"Don't remind me of it," said Chrysalis.

"Why do you like them so much?" said Edgar.

"I hate them!" said Chrysalis. "They send chills up my spine, and I'm one of the creepiest creatures in Equestria!"

"Then why in the hell..."

"Because it was either that, or be driven insane by G3, just like Frank Dog!" said Chrysalis.

It was quiet. Too quiet. Chrysalis and Edgar rushed to the window of Frank's cell. Frank was having an eptic seizure.

"He's faking," said Chrysalis. "I'm sure of it."

Suddenly Frank was flung across the room, against the wall, repeatedly.

"That ain't faking," said Edgar, and he and Chrysalis rushed into the room. Chrysalis brought in a stretcher and tied Frank's arms and legs down. Then they walked outside the door.

"This insanity is killing him!" said Edgar. "We've got to do something!"

"There's only one thing we can do," said Chrysalis. "Frank cannot help us anymore. He's a liability. And you know what we must do to people who are no longer of use to us."

"But I've always wanted to work with a real live gangster!" said Edgar. "And if he dies, then the only thing we ever got to do together is try to feed Pinkie Pie and Jaws to sharks! And in case you forgot, that failed miserably because they killed and ate the sharks!"

"Not working with a gangster is better than ending up in Thanos's torture room!" said Chrysalis. "I've seen what he did to a changeling that drew in his book. You know what must be done."

"I can't!" said Edgar. "There are so few gangsters left!"

"Then what in the name of King Sombra do you propose we do?" said Chrysalis.

"There is only one fail-safe way to cure insanity induced by G3."

"No! Don't even think about it! You know there's a high chance it'll turn him good."

"You watch it all the time!"

"I'm too evil to be affected by its power, and in any event I'm from the show so that gives me immunity!"

"But it's the only way!"

"And if it purifies him?"

"It's a risk I'm willing to take."

"Don't do it! That's a direct order from second in command!"

"You're not second in command anymore! That honor goes to that G3 pony!"

"I'm going straight to Thanos if you do!"

Edgar rushed into his room, grabbed a laptop and an overhead projector, ran into the cell, and set the projector to the wall Frank was facing. Edgar set his watch for 22 minutes, then hooked the projector to his computer. He went to youtube and typed in the episode "MMMystery on the Friendship Express". He clicked on the video, then rushed outside to avoid seeing the episode himself. He closed the door and started the countdown on his watch.

22 minutes later, Edgar entered the cell and unstrapped Frank.

"How do you feel?" said Edgar.

"Better than I have in a long time," said Frank.

"Are you hallucinating?" said Edgar.

"Not at all," said Frank. "The insanity of G3 is gone."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Are you still in on our evil plan?"

There was a pause.

"Yes," said Frank. "I live to serve Thanos. Hey, how about we go get revenge on Pinkie Pie?"

Frank and Edgar walked outside. As soon as they were clear of the base, Frank punched Edgar in the face with his mechanical arm and knocked him out.

* * *

"And Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie are so pathetic that they aren't even spying on these guys anymore," said Thornburg.

"No, we're not spying anymore because you blew our cover!" said Twilight as she and the others watched his report on TV.

"That guy needs to be punched in the face!" said Rainbow Dash.

Then Frank punched Thornburg in the face and knocked him out.

"I would like to make an announcement," said Frank. "I've just seen my first episode of My Little Pony and I am no longer evil. I would like to join forces with the princesses and the Mane 6."

Moments later, Frank appeared before them. "I wish to join your team."

"Welcome to the herd," said Luna.

Frank walked over to Pinkie Pie and held out his mechanical fist. She gave him a brohoof.

* * *

"Exactly how did Frank watch My Little Pony?" said Thanos.

"Edgar showed it to him even though I told him not to!" said Chrysalis.

"Riptide! Azazel! Take Edgar to my torture chamber! There he will know a new kind of suffering!"

Riptide and Azazel grabbed Edgar's arms.

Then Stickhead came in. "Lord Thanos! They're here!"

"I see," said Thanos.

An army of G3 ponies walked in.

"Riptide! Azazel! Release Edgar!" said Thanos. "I am going to give him one last chance. But if he fails and survives, I will make him long for something sweet as pain!"

"Thank you, my lord," said Edgar. He and the G3 ponies all kneeled before Thanos.

"Soon," said Thanos, "the world will be driven insane, and the planet will be ours for the taking! Once everypony is dead, Death will just have to like me!"

* * *

Dick Thornburg is from Die Hard, and Frank's final hallucination is based off a scene near the end of Supernatural Season 4.


	8. Invasion

**My Little Pony: Save the College**

**Chapter 8: Invasion**

Thanos, Chrysalis, Edgar, Mandy, Stickhead, Riptide, and Azazel were sitting at a table making their plans for world domination.

"How are the hazard pits going, Chrysalis?" said Thanos.

"They are coming along perfectly," said Chrysalis. "Fire pits with green fire, spikes, and a trunk to lock victims in for two weeks like Jeremy. Of course I'd love to stab a few with my horn!"

"Scum of the Universe!" said Thanos. "Have you eliminated all civilians in the area?"

"Shot the last one this afternoon," said Edgar. "And I framed a drunk for it and he was hung for murder."

"What does that mean?" said Stickhead.

"It means you wrap a rope or something similar around a person's throat, and then hang them by the neck until they're dead," said Mandy.

"Wow!" said Stickhead.

"Now, let's talk Princess Luna," said Thanos. "She hasn't been seen for a while, and neither have the others, except for Princess Celestia. They must be doing some training so they can defeat me. I'll kill them once I'm ready. Stickhead! Bring them in!"

Five G3 ponies brought in Mike Novick and Aaron Pierce.

"I've been tracking a guy who watches your TV series, 24," said Thanos. "You are the only two of his favorite characters that neither die nor come to some other horrible turn. Killing the only two to neither die nor become an undesirable individual is sure to impress Death!" Thanos shot an energy wave at Mike and Aaron, vaporizing them.

"Us G3 ponies are getting restless!" said Stickhead. "When can we invade the world?"

"Right now," said Thanos.

Stickhead walked into a big room and summoned all her G3 ponies. "G3 ponies! Invade! Drive everypony insane! Don't worry about the little girls, they'll be unfazed but he'll kill them personally!"

* * *

People screamed in horror at the G3 ponies swarmed the streets.

"THAT WILL KILL US ALL!" said a man.

"Will you comb my mane and say I'm pretty?" said a G3 pony.

The man melted, Indiana Jones style. A mother held her daughter's hand as they ran from the badly drawn ponies.

"Mom! They're just ponies!" said the girl.

"Sick, disgusting G3 ponies!" said the mother. "We have no way of survival! This is the end of the world!"

Tanks, helicopters, and military personnel gathered in front of the G3 ponies.

"Put down the ugliness and step away from the planet!" said the commanding officer.

"But... we are so cute!" said a G3 pony.

"THIS IS HOW WE DIE!" said the commanding officer. The military fired at the G3 ponies, but nothing happened and they all began melting.

"BE ONE WITH US!" said the G3 pony.

Then she looked down and saw a little girl looking at her.

"Hello," said the girl. "Would you like to play?"

"Sure, I guess," said the G3 pony.

There was an awkward pause.

"THIS ONE IS IMMUNE!" said the G3 pony.

The girl grabbed the G3 pony around the neck and began hugging her hard. "You really are soft!"

The girl wouldn't let go, and the G3 pony couldn't breathe. She kicked and coughed, trying to pry the little girl from her throat. Next minute the ponies knew, little girls swarmed onto the streets, all picking their favorite pony. They hugged and squeezed the G3 ponies to death. Eleven G3 ponies managed to escape, but were chased by a helicopter and a tank.

"These two are immune!" said a G3 pony as they ran.

"Of course we are," said Augustav Wind, the pilot of the helicopter. "We're gay!"

"Let's get them!" said William Kidd, the tank pilot. He blasted five G3 ponies with his tank and ran over a sixth with a CRUNCH! Mr. Wind shot the other five with his helicopter.

* * *

"MY LITTLE PONIES! NOOOOOOOOO!" Stickhead watched the battle on a screen.

"I think it's time to bring out MY army!" said Chrysalis.

A hundred changelings flew in.

"They will destroy the ponies and that traitor!" said Chrysalis. "Changelings! Go to Luna's base and kill whatever you find there!"

"But we don't know where they are," said Edgar.

"Yes we do," said Chrysalis. She pointed at another TV with her horn. Dick Thornburg was giving a report about Luna's secret training facility where she, the Mane 6, Jaws, and Frank Dog were training to defeat the evil army.

"Go, my little ponies!" she said. "Feed!"

The changelings flew off.

"I don't think changelings are ponies," said Thanos.

* * *

AN: Mr. Wind and Mr. Kidd were slightly based off Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd, two minions in the James Bond series who are also gay. And no, I'm not taking a stab at homosexuals by saying they like G3, just saying in this universe atleast they're immune.


	9. Final Battle

**My Little Pony: Save the College**

**Chapter 9: Final Battle**

"His name is Thanos, and he's extremely powerful," said Frank Dog. "It will take all of us to take him out. That's all I know of. And there were the killer chickens but I heard you sent them back where they came from."

Twilight was practicing her magic beam while Rainbow Dash was kicking a punching bag.

"Um... I think you'd better come see this," said Fluttershy.

Everypony looked at the TV to see Dick Thornburg's report.

"And as you can see, they didn't do jack against the G3 ponies," said Thornburg. "They just left the job to little girls and gay men. How lazy."

"He has nothing nice to say to us at all!" said Pinkie Pie.

"Forget that!" said Applejack. "He's givin' away the location of our hideout!"

"Can I kill him now?" said Frank.

"Focus on Thanos first," said Luna. "Something bad always happens to him AT THE END, not in the middle."

The changelings flew in like meteors with green fire.

"Now we kill you!" said a changeling, turning into Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie.

"But your queen said to take us alive," said Pinkie Pie.

"No she didn't!" said the changeling. "She gave us direct orders to kill anything!"

"No she didn't!" said Pinkie Pie.

"Yes she did!" said the changeling.

"No she didn't!

"Yes she did!"

"No she didn't!"

"Yes she did!"

"Yes she did!"

"No she didn't!"

"Aha!" said Pinkie. "Take us away."

"Pinkie! What the hell?" said Luna.

Pinkie got in close to Luna. "They will take us directly to Thanos and we can finish them off!"

The changelings took Luna, the Mane 6, Jaws, and Frank Dog away to their secret fortress of doom!

* * *

Thanos, Chrysalis, Edgar, Mandy, Stickhead, Riptide, and Azazel watched on a screen.

"I told those idiots to kill them!" said Chrysalis.

"Doesn't matter," said Thanos. "They will be brought before me and we shall kill them all!"

"Good news, Thanos!" said Stickhead. "My secret weapon is ready!"

* * *

A giant satellite began projecting holographic images of G3 everywhere. People all over the world were beginning to lose their minds. Shining Armor and Princess Cadance stood directly underneath it and unleashed an energy explosion powered by their love, blowing up the satellite. All the holograms disappeared and the people retained their sanity.

* * *

"NOOOOOOO! MY SECRET WEAPON!" said Stickhead.

"Chrysalis! Scum of the Universe! Take Stickhead to my cell to await termination!" said Thanos.

Then, the changelings arrived with the ponies, Jaws, and Frank, kneeling before their queen.

"On second thought," said Thanos, "Stickhead, you're still second in command. Therefore you have the honor of a 1 on 1 deathmatch with any of the prisoners. Who do you want to fight?"

"Luna," said Stickhead. "Because I can easily take on an alicorn of the night!"

Thanos threw Stickhead and Luna into a pit.

"Fear my power!" said Stickhead, who was wearing a plain shirt at the moment. She tore off the shirt, revealing a G3 shirt underneath. "I have all G3 pony collections! Fear me! Watch the show and be a fan of G3 and not G4!"

"NOT THIS AGAIN!" said Frank, turning away.

"So your plan of attack is to get me, a character of the G4 series, to join the G3 series in some sick fandom that really wasn't a fandom except for little girls that died out in the 80's?"

"YES!" said Stickhead.

Luna stabbed Stickhead in the throat with her horn and she guggled blood.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" said Thanos.

"WAY TO GO LUNA!" said Frank.

"Changelings, tear them apart!" said Chrysalis.

Pinkie Pie stomped on a changeling's hoof like a bug, and he released her with a growl of pain. She pulled out a gatling gun and shot him, along with other changelings, spinning its tail around because it was really a unicorn. Applejack kicked some in the head as hard as she could, Luna flew out of the pit and vaporized changelings with an energy wave. Rarity shot magic beams at the changelings as well, and Fluttershy, though initially hiding from the changelings, eventually used her ninja moves on them and broke their necks. Frank pressed a switch on his mechanical arm turning to high strength and beat the changelings with lethal punches and karate chops. Jaws banged two changelings' heads together and bit more changelings. There were still many changelings, but then Rainbow Dash flew up into the air. Twilight projected a shield around everypony except the changelings as Rainbow used Rain Nuke, vaporizing the remaining changelings.

"That does it!" said Thanos. "Chrysalis, fight Luna! Edgar, fight Frank Dog! Riptide, fight Rainbow Dash! Azazel, fight Applejack! Mandy, fight Rarity! I'll handle Pinkie Pie, Jaws, Twilight, and Fluttershy all at once!"

And the battle was on. Azazel teleported around Applejack like a cheap case, hitting her at every angle. He grabbed her by the tail and slammed her on the ground.

"You can't win!" said Azazel. "I have the upper hand of being a cheap case!"

Azazel raised his tail and aimed it at Applejack's throat, but Applejack bit Azazel's tail as hard as she could.

"MY TAIL, MY TAIL!" said Azazel.

Applejack slammed Azazel repeatedly on the ground. Then she stabbed Azazel in the head with his own tail.

Rainbow Dash kicked Riptide away. Riptide began spinning into a tornado, but Rainbow was going the same. The two tornadoes collided head on. Rainbow was only forced back a bit, Riptide went flying and was impaled on a spike.

Edgar punched Frank repeatedly.

"You always were more weaker!" said Edgar. "We could have been a team, and I could have taught you my ways!"

Edgar held back for another punch, but Frank grabbed his fist with his mechanical hand and squeezed hard, crushing his hand while Edgar yelped in pain.

"LET ME GO!" said Edgar.

"You are terminated!" said Frank. Frank punched Edgar in the head as hard as he could. Edgar's head was pulverized and his headless corpse fell to the ground.

Luna and Chrysalis tried to slash each other with their horns, then they flew into the air and shot magic beams at each other, entering a beam struggle.

"You can't beat me!" said Chrysalis. "I am the queen of the changelings!"

"There are no more changelings," said Luna. "And you don't have the power anymore!"

"What do you mean?" said Chrysalis.

"What love could you possibly be feeding off of in this nightmare? I'm surprised you're even still alive!"

"But..."

"I'm only holding back!" Luna increased the power of her energy wave, not even to half of her full power. Her beam began pushing forward to the Queen.

"Joining Thanos's side was the WORST IDEA I HAVE EVER DONE!" said Chrysalis. Luna's beam hit Chrysalis's horn, and she disintegrated into ash.

Mandy shot at Rarity with a laser pistol while she shot magic beams at her. Rarity disarmed Mandy, and then began whipping her tail back and forth to distract her. Mandy grabbed Rarity's tail and slammed her to the ground.

Twilight shot her most powerful magic beam at Thanos. It didn't affect him. Pinkie stabbed Thanos with a knife, but it barely did anything. Fluttershy used her ninja moves, but he punched her to the ground and she backed away in terror. Jaws punched Thanos in the face. Thanos punched Jaws in the face and hurt his hand.

"A stalemate," said Thanos. "But I know a way of eliminating even you!"

Mandy walked over to Thanos, holding Rarity by the tail. "You know, I think we should stop fooling around. You can just obliterate them all with one energy blast. But make sure you save a few for me."

"You're right," said Thanos. "Prepare to die!"

Suddenly, there was a gunshot, and Mandy fell to the ground dead with a bullet hole in her head. Thanos turned to see the shooter.

"This is impossible!" said Thanos, paralyzed with shock.

"THIS IS SPARTA!" said Kellerman, and he Spartan kicked Thanos down an elevator shaft. Thanos fell into the reactor core of his fortress and exploded in a spectacular explosion of light, Emperor Palpatine style.

"Kellerman?" said Rainbow Dash. "But I saw Luna end your game!"

"We faked his death to catch Thanos off guard in case we couldn't defeat him," said Luna. "He was the one who told me where Dick Dick's base was. Do you remember that magic spell you used to make ponies switch places, Twilight?"

"Yes," said Twilight. She used it in a duel against Trixie.

"Well, I used the same spell to switch Kellerman with a mankin that looked exactly like him," said Luna. "Right before we hit the water."

"Why is he on our side now?" said Rainbow.

"Because I turned the TV on and accidentally saw an episode of My Little Pony," said Kellerman. "It was Luna Eclipsed."

A random changeling walked around the corner.

"There's one more!" said Luna. They all grabbed machine guns and shot the changeling dead.

"Overkill!" said Jaws.

"And now there's only one thing left to do," said Luna.

* * *

"The ponies suck!" said Dick Thornburg. "They couldn't even take out Thanos! Some guy who was presumed dead four chapters ago had to defeat him!"

Somepony tapped Thornburg on the back. He turned around. Jaws punched him in the face. Rainbow and Frank kicked him while he was down.

"You are a selfish reporter who loves to put ponies down and would risk the safety of others for your reports," said Celestia, who was with Luna and the others. "As punishment for your actions, you are banished to the moon for the rest of your life."

Celestia kicked Thornburg all the way to the moon.

**THE END**

AN: Incase you haven't guessed, the overkill scene was inspired by Expendables 2.


End file.
